<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/5267162?origin\x3dhttp://cheryl_24.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>




stories biography escapes archives


Welcome ♥



Love me or hate me.
Know me, dont judge me.
I'm just a girl who lives in this ordinary world. ♥

share the love ♥
♥ Wednesday, February 3 ♥
Things have changed drastically since the death of my father.
Putting up a strong front is what i have been trying to do.
I feel like my life is a masquerade.
Hiding behind this mask of happiness,
but deep down, i am lost in my sorrows.

Maintaining this facade of strength is difficult.
All i wanna do is to break down and cry.

I want my daddy back. I need him, i really do.
I miss talking to him. I miss him waking me up in the morning.
I miss taking care of him. I miss having him leaning on me.
I miss the long talks. I miss his words of encouragement.

No one really knows how i really feel.

Its been slightly more then a month. I still cant let go.
I've told my friends that i can lose my boyfriends.
But i dont ever wanna lose my dad.
It hurts so much. This is literally the most painful separation ever.
I feel empty.
No one knows how much i have cried that night while sitting beside his body,
crying my eyes out.
Trying to stop time. Praying silently. Wishing he was still alive and talking to me.
He felt so cold... He wasnt responding to me and he never will....

I feel so alone.

I need him. I need him to guide me through this journey. I want him to see me growing up. I want him to see me shine in my work.
I want him to see me getting married, this is his only wish for me.
Dad wanted to live on because he wanted to see me walk down the aisle with the man who will care for me and love me for the rest of my life.
I want him to give me his blessing.
I want my daddy back...

I feel like a little spoilt child throwing tantrums. Crying and wailing when she doesnt get the things that she wants.
I feel like a lost child.

I really feel like this...I feel like breaking down from time to time.

Coming home to an empty house.
It doesnt help that I'm greeted by a picture of him everyday.
Sometimes, I smell the scent of his medication and I wonder if he's near.

Daddy,
I hope you're fine. I know you're safe.
I believe God is taking good care of you.
I just want you to know that I miss you.
I always have and always will.
But Dad, Mum misses you the most.
Every time she sees your picture, she touches your face and cries silently.
I know she's hurting more than me.
Please protect her Dad,
I am fine...and i love you dad.. so much




left her thoughts ♥ 8:07:00 PM